Gary Animals tales from a life miss spent are posted on this blog. It details the misery of life and the adventures born from a wrong decision taken during a moment of madness. It's mainly about me ,as that is really all I know. It's about moving to New Zealand. It's about nail biting,bed wetting and general insecurity. In other words all the ingredients that make up your average snivelling wreck. I'll post lots of pictures of my daughter and wife. This will be good for the family back home and it will have the added advantage , for those that don't know me, of making me look less self centred. The truth from within is that I view myself with a greatness unrivalled by god ("God" invention of mankind), yet at the same time know that when viewed from the perspective of an external entity I seem to be somewhat pathetic. Of course these external entities are mere illusions of my own making and their opinions could not count for less. This blog was to be called "The greatness of me", but why state the obvious.
All spelling mistakes and grammatical errors are nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to make myself look more ordinary in the mistaken belief you'll like me more. Not that I care , your insignificance bores me. IF you were anything at all you'd be me and your not, I am.
When creating this illusion you call the universe I made two mistakes. Humans being one of them ,the other being New Zealand.
I have come to live in New Zealand in the hope of fixing it. Time is the real problem here. It does not seem to move forward at the correct rate. If it were a little to fast I could live with that, but it moves a tad to slow and over the millennium this has compounded resulting in country left behind. The dinosaurs are still long gone and the wheel has arrived. On the grand scale ,thirty odd years is nothing, but for visitors to these shores it's a little unsettling. Welcome to the seventies. Cold housing, poverty, racism ,little choice and crap clothing it's all here. Sounds like hell on Earth and yet that's the strange thing ,it's nearer to heaven on Earth than anywhere else I have been. Those bad things are simple lost among the grand beauty and slower place of life. It's hard to have consumerism in a shop with no stock. It'll all get here one day and perhaps that is to be wished against. Somewhere along the road we all lost out. Perhaps New Zealand's clocks are not running slow. Maybe ,just maybe, with all our technology with have speeded up time . Our clocks run faster and we have no way to register it from within. All your clocks agree and all are wrong. You'll not know it until with leave. You'll have to leave eventually so jump right out.
IT seems I have landed a well paying job doing magic at the casino Monday to Friday evenings. It's 22 hours a week for a year and pays 78,000 dollars. That's a huge wage here and I would normally be over the moon. Every cloud has a silver lining and conversely every pot of honey will turn into it's mother. The downside to this contract is I have to wear a micro fibre black suit with silver bits embroidered on it. In other words I have to look a complete twat. In my universe how could this be. It casts doubts on my greatness. I may be a lesser god . Never one of you ,but not much better
I start a week Monday.
They have a very tall tower so I may well jump. The stars on my suit will then appear to be shooting stars and make a little more sense.
